Losing Grip
by bittasummer
Summary: 2-Parter, set after TGITF. Rose deals with the fact the Doctor left her, Mickey deals with the fact Rose is in love with an alien and the Doctor is oblivious until the end. Ten/Rose.
1. Part I

**Title: Losing Grip**

**Author: **bittasummer19

**Summary: **Set after _The Girl in the Fireplace. _Rose deals with the fact the Doctor left her, Mickey deals with the fact Rose is in love with the Doctor and the Doctor is oblivious until the end. Part 1 of 2. Re-edited 11/01/12.

**Pairing: **Ten/Rose

**Notes:** Inspired by Avril Lavinge's song _Losing Grip._

**Warnings:** Profanity, bashing of French people (sorry!) and lots and lots of angst.

* * *

**Part I**

_"Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone. You, you need to listen, I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip, and I'm in this thing alone"._

Rose was slumped in the TARDIS wardrobe, left-over tears painted on her cheeks and a lifeless expression echoed on her face. He'd left her... Came back but left her... For some French slut! Such a slap in the face, had their time together meant nothing? And then, there was Mickey... He wasn't an idiot, got to give him credit where it was due... There'd been times when Mickey had come through and saved them all... But he wasn't _him_.

The stupid Doctor, the one she'd gone and fallen for. Her mother had taught her; always look out for number one, never get attached and when you do settle down, marry someone rich. Rose smiled softly when she'd first heard her mum tell her all about the ins and outs of men. Relationships... Relationships with aliens, she'd obviously left out and now Rose was stuck in an in-between of emotions.

Rose was in such a horrible state. Then... Mickey, poor poor Mickey. He loved her, craved her affection and put up with the constant mood-swings she'd have because he wasn't _him_. She sighed sadly, leaning forward to reach out and touch one of his jackets. And she shouldn't have fallen for him because every time he regenerated, she'd be back to square one, getting used to the new him, the new face and testing the new boundaries between them.

Rose slumped back into the wall and let a couple of new tears flow out, trickling down her cheeks and her neck. A muffled sob escaped her lips and she covered her head in her hands, letting the tears and sadness out. She'd always be second-best to him... Sarah Jane, Reinette, who else knew him better than she did? Who else gonna pop out of the woodwork and trump her?

There would always be someone else but her, how long did she have til that happened? Rose bumped her head gently against the wall, turning to her side to lean completely against it. More tears escaped before she decided she knew what she had to do. It would hurt like hell but she knew if she ever really had a chance at getting over her feelings for him, then she'd have to do it.

**oOo**

The Doctor looked up from the console over to Mickey, who was eating a bag of greasy chips. He frowned "What is it with you humans and chips?".

Mickey looked offended "I'll have you know these chips are _the best ever_! I don't care what planet you're from, Doctor, _these_" he pointed to a chip "Are _the_ most—".

"Fattening things you could put into your mouth" Rose interrupted, appearing from the stairs. Her voice sounded a mix between flat and indifference.

"Rose" The Doctor beamed, his grin suddenly full of life, "Mickey said you'd gone to the toilet, what took you so long?".

"My mum called" Rose said, stepping forwards "She says I've forgot some laundry, I need to go back home".

"Can't you do with the clothes you've got now?" The Doctor replied with a sigh, "We've just been for Mickey's stupid craving for chips...".

Mickey pulled a face "Whatever...".

"Well, we need to go back" Rose replied bluntly. She resisted the urge to snap at him; how many times she need to repeat herself? The Doctor frowned. Her eyes wouldn't look at his, her head was down and her arms were wrapped firmly around her body, almost painfully.

"Rose, are you okay?" The Doctor stepped forwards and on instinct she took a step backwards, bumping into Mickey.

"You alright?" Mickey touched her back.

Rose turned to Mickey, revelling in the joy that an excuse had come up to turn away from The Doctor. "I'm fine" she insisted "But you know how mum is, when she says something's gotta be done, that's it".

"Okay" The Doctor said simply but he hadn't forgotten about her strange behaviour as he walked towards the controls on the TARDIS and starting hitting random buttons. They felt the TARDIS shake and Rose reached out and used Mickey's shoulder as support.

"There you are" The Doctor announced "2006, London; Powell Estate".

"I'll be about half an hour, my mum has the gift of the gab" Rose started to walk but The Doctor started talking again.

"And whatever she says" he added, smiling "We're not available for lunch, dinner, tea or any other refreshments" The Doctor waited for the usual roll of eyes and smirk but it didn't come.

Instead, Rose just nodded and walked out the TARDIS door. Mickey shrugged and started eating his chips again.

"Mickey" The Doctor began slowly "You didn't by any chance say anything to Rose lately? Or did she say something to you?".

Mickey shrugged again "Girls are girls... Why?".

"Didn't she seem a little..?" The Doctor trailed off, still deep in thought.

Mickey nodded slowly "Now that you mention it... Yeah".

The Doctor waited.

Mickey glanced at the chips "She totally dissed the chips, something had got to be up!".

The Doctor groaned internally and rolled his eyes.

**oOo**

Rose walked along the streets of London, knowing exactly where she was going. Her heart ached and it was all his fault, she wanted to scream at him, and shout and curse and hit him, how could someone as clever as him fall for Reinette's tricks? And it wasn't just that, he'd left her, on a freaking spaceship, in the middle of space, with nothing but the TARDIS and Mickey.

And then he went and fell in love with that French tart. It bothered Rose, how could it not? She'd been travelling with him for nearly two years and still the feelings were imprinted in her heart. But she wouldn't let them fool herself into thinking they were anything more than what they were; she'd lock them up in the attic and blow it up, figuratively speaking, of course.

Rose turned and found she'd got to the door she'd been looking for. She almost lost her breath, wondering if this was the right thing to do. She smiled sadly and approached the door, breathing deeply. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe she wasn't in, maybe she didn't want to see her but—

Rose had already reached out and knocked the door gently, tapping twice. She waited and heard light foot-steps pad to the door and Rose held her breath as the woman answered it.

"Rose" the woman gasped, surprised and concerned and worried all at the same time, "...Come in".

Rose forced a smile and walked into the house.

**oOo**

"_Fine_" The Doctor gave in "I'll have _one_, Rose's right, y'know... Chips the most fattening thing in the world...".

Mickey smiled as he held the chip-bag up and The Doctor plucked one out. He watched as he ate it slowly. "Well?" Mickey expected fire-works.

"S'alright" The Doctor shrugged, munching it whole "But, for scientific reasons only, I'll have another..." he took another chip.

Mickey beamed triumphantly "I told you! _The_ best chips in the world!".

The Doctor pulled a face "They're good, not great".

"_Good_?" Mickey felt insulted "No see, you come to earth, you eat _our_ food, you _appreciate_ it, you _don't diss_ it off as: _good_!".

"Mickey, calm down" The Doctor smiled "They're _just_ potatoes...".

Mickey nodded slowly "Right, sorry... But they're the best chips ever!".

The Doctor suddenly felt mean. Always taking Mickey for granted... "Oh alright" he caved "Come on, we'll go out and buy us another bag of best earth chips ever".

"You mean it?" Mickey grinned. Although just having bought a bag of chips nearly forty minutes ago, Mickey was the first one bounding towards the doors.

"Why not?" The Doctor shrugged "Jackie's probably talking the mouth off of Rose and... Me... Well, I'm gonna live forever, so I might as well try _the_ best earth chips ever" he took a piece of paper from his jacket "Better write Rose a quick note otherwise she'll be worrying where we got too" he scribbled something down.

**oOo**

Rose looked up as Sarah-Jane Smith sat down beside her on the couch, handing her a cup of coffee "Thanks" Rose accepted, taking a sip; her throat had gone dry and she'd needed something to wash away the lump already forming.

"Why don't you start from the beginning..." Sarah-Jane said quietly, studying Rose with curious eyes.

"Well" Rose began "We were saving this French girl; Madame De Pompadour actually… and he... fell in love with her, asked her to come travelling with us and if she hadn't of died, then me and Mickey would be stuck back on earth, and... I'd of been replaced".

Sarah-Jane smiled softly "Are you sure? How do you know he was in love with her?".

"He kissed her" Rose blurted out "I watched them through the fireplace-which was this transport-thing… Me and Mickey saw everything".

"Oh" Sarah-Jane felt at a loss for words "Maybe it was a friendly peck—".

"We heard tongues" Rose cut her off.

Sarah-Jane took a sip of her tea and sighed softly "He probably thought that now you have Mickey... He wanted to have someone for himself".

"But" Rose started, then stopped "He's got me, he knows he does... And then there's Mickey, I appreciate your gesture and all but it's been hell since he came with us... It's so awkward and I don't know how to tell him... Tell him that it's over and that I love..." she sighed.

Sarah-Jane smiled softly again "Sounds like a proper job of messed-up communications between all three of you...".

"What should I do?" Rose bit her lip, "I never thought I'd need to come find you Sarah-Jane, but… I don't know, maybe I should leave? I don't want to, my heart is breaking just thinking about it but… I saw the pain on your face when you met the Doctor again, I see it now…" she sighed, "What do I do?".

Sarah-Jane turned to face her "You need to let Mickey know that you love him, but only as a friend and that nothing is ever going to happen between you two and then... Tell The Doctor you love him and put yourself out of this misery".

Rose frowned, then looked away "I know I need to set Mickey straight but as for The Doctor… You said he was worth getting your heart broken for, do you remember? Except I don't know now, I almost feel like I can't trust him… He told me he wasn't going to leave me like he left you… And he still did" she fought back tears.

Sarah-Jane sighed softly "Oh Rose, I'm so sorry" she reached out and took Rose's hand, "Young-love may be the wrong term to use but he's new in this regeneration cycle... Give him a little more time; he'll come through, the face changes but not the soul".

Rose exhaled deeply, drinking her coffee. "I'm so glad I have someone that understands, my mum would never be like this, she would tell me 'I told you so', and say I should leave" a moment of silence passed between them until curiosity suddenly took over her and Rose asked "You have pictures of his old faces?".

**oOo**

The Doctor and Mickey strolled through the streets of London, carrying a bag of chips each. Mickey moaned in delight "I told you, these are the best damn ch—".

"If you say it _one_ more time, I'll rip your head off!" The Doctor interrupted with fake anger, "Yes, they are nice, Mickey! But please, prove us all wrong and _don't _fall in love with the average chip".

"Average chip" Mickey rolled his eyes "These are like... Royal chips or something" he scoffed a load in, getting a look from The Doctor, who was content in eating one at a time.

"No wonder you're a skinny rake!" Mickey smirked "You sure you eat?".

The Doctor glared "I eat quite regularly, ask Rose! The kitchen is usually empty by the time she's hungry".

Mickey stopped abruptly "Wait! You have a kitchen in your spaceship?" he didn't realise he'd just shouted it until people started staring at him in confusion, some laughing and some throwing him dirty looks from the fact that this world was now an alien-magnet and this strange man was joking about spaceships.

"That's great, Mickey" The Doctor hissed, pulling him along quickly by the arm "Why don't you alert the FBI and tell them that I'm a 904 year old alien that's immortal?".

"Sorry" Mickey whispered "But, seriously, Rose never mentioned the TARDIS had a kitchen!".

"No wonder" The Doctor muttered, walking off.

Mickey gulped down some more chips, before stalking off after him "Hey, what's that supposed to mean!".

**oOo**

Rose flipped through the photo-album Sarah-Jane had brought out. There were several pictures of Sarah-Jane with a fairly old man, with crazy white hair and he looked quite grumpy.

"Oh my god..." Rose trailed off "That's hi—He used to look like that...".

Sarah-Jane smiled "His third regeneration, I was told... He was an authority figure, loved to build things; gadgets and stuff..." she pointed to another picture of a different man, he was possibly younger with curly brown hair.

"That was him?" Rose looked closer "Oh my...".

"That was his fourth regeneration" Sarah-Jane leaned in to take a closer look "He loved discovery and adventure..." she laughed abruptly "He... He always used to offer jelly-babies to anybody, didn't matter if they were the enemy or not".

Rose grinned "Jelly-babies, huh?".

Sarah-Jane nodded, smiling "And he always wore a multi-coloured striped scarf... And that _hat_! I used to call him Sherlock Holmes behind his back!".

"He's been 9 different people..." Rose trailed off "I don't know if I could..." she stopped, glancing up at Sarah-Jane.

"I actually met five of his incarnations" Sarah-Jane added, sighing softly, "You never realise how fast time goes by, until it does" she smiled sadly and stood, "Want another cuppa?".

"Please" Rose nodded and watched her go. She turned back to the photo-album and sighed.

**oOo**

"Rose, we're back!" The Doctor stepped into the TARDIS and looked around expectedly. He glanced to the note that was still folded up on the console. Mickey walked in behind him, frowning.

"Surely she can't take that long!" The Doctor grabbed Mickey's wrist and looked down at his watch "That's nearly two hours!" he cried absurdly.

"Jackie can talk, though" Mickey pointed out "She's like, the Queen of Gossip, don't worry... I'm sure Rose is fine".

"Let's go visit Jackie, then" The Doctor opened the door again.

Mickey groaned and rolled his eyes "Fine! But when we're sitting with tea in our hands and listening to how Howard's kidney stones are, don't say I didn't warn you!".

The Doctor grinned "Oh come on, Mickey! Howard saved the world! If it wasn't for his Satsuma".

"Hello Jackie!" The Doctor beamed as soon as Jackie had opened the door. She was wearing her pink dressing-gown, her hair was pinned up in curlers and she was drinking a strawberry smoothie.

"Oh, girl's night in!" The Doctor with a smile grin "Is she ready yet?".

Jackie looked him up and down "What in bloody hell are you talking about?".

"Rose" Mickey interrupted "Is she ready yet? She said she was coming up here to get some clothes".

Jackie narrowed her eyes suspiciously "What? She's not here!" she turned on The Doctor "If anything happens to her, I'll kill you! She was in your care and you've gone and lost her! What kind of alien are you, anyway?".

"But" Mickey frowned "You called her, saying you had laundry for her".

"Like hell I did!" Jackie cried "I've not heard from her since Wednesday and today's not even my laundry day!".

"Doctor" Mickey sounded worried "What's happened to her?".

"I don't know..." The Doctor trailed off "I'll check the TARDIS!" he ran off.

"When you find her, tell her to call me!" Jackie slammed the door shut on Mickey, leaving him to follow after The Doctor.

**oOo**

Rose hugged Sarah-Jane tightly and sighed softly "I should really be off" Rose looked down "They'll be wondering where I've got to..." and she wanted to punish The Doctor a little bit, just a little. But, he'd hurt her and she wanted to hurt him and hold him and tell him the truth but—

"You come visit me whenever you need" Sarah-Jane interrupted Rose's chain of thought, "Even if it's just to talk, okay?".

Rose nodded back "Sarah-Jane..." her face trailed off "What happens if he leaves me? What happens if he drops me off somewhere and leaves him?" the very prospect scared the hell out of her.

Sarah-Jane smiled proudly at Rose and cupped both sides of her face, saying firmly: "_No _man or alien defines who you are, Rose Tyler, not The Doctor, not Mickey, you are a strong independent woman and whatever life throws at you, you will pick yourself up and move on".

Rose felt a genuine smile grace her lips.

**oOo**

Rose walked towards the little blue box she'd gotten used to so much. It was a second home. And the scariest thought passed her heart: leaving it. What if some old lover crops up and suddenly; four's a crowd? Three was already a crowd…

Rose reached out and touched the wood, her hand curling around the handle. With ease, she opened it gently and stepped in to see Mickey and The Doctor, staring at her with heavy eyes.

"You weren't adducted!" Mickey leapt forwards, hugging her, "I was imagining all kinds of horrible things! We thought someone had taken you-".

"Mickey" Rose laughed, pushing him back affectionately, "I'm fine... Honestly, I'm okay".

Mickey pulled away, glancing quickly to the Doctor, "What took you so long?".

"Yeah, you know how mum is..." Rose flashed them a fake smile "She just goes on and on... _Howard-this_, _Howard-that_".

"Rose..." Mickey began hesitantly, "We went up to Jackie's, we know you weren't really there".

The Doctor studied Rose's reddened cheeks.

"Oh" Rose stated with a slight shocked expression "Next time, I'll try to think of something better" she forced a strained smile.

"Where were you?" The Doctor finally spoke; his tone accusing. Something had been off with Rose since the minute they'd got back from 18th century France and now, all he wanted to know was what the hell was going on with her.

"Shop" Rose sounded angry. She pulled out a carrier bag from her back pocket and threw it at The Doctor. He caught it, still looking at her intensely. The Doctor stared down the bag and then back to Rose.

"Go on, then" Rose folded her arms "Be my guest, we're all adults!".

The Doctor opened the bag and pulled out a packet of tampons. He sighed and put it back in the bag, wrapping it up again. Mickey looked awkwardly around.

"I'll just..." Mickey began "Check out the kitchen" he walked off.

"I'm sorry, Rose" The Doctor added "But nearly two hours! And you were what, choosing which brand to buy?".

Rose stepped forward and grabbed the bag off of him, fury burning through her veins, "As opposed to lover-boy who spent five and a half hours in France doing god knows what with god knows who!".

"Is this why you're mad?" The Doctor frowned, suddenly understanding. He stepped towards her and she moved back in response, "Because I left you in France?".

Rose stopped herself. Sarah-Jane was right. No man or alien defined her and she didn't need to answer any of his questions when a lot of her own questions were still left unanswered. A lot of them.

"I'm going to bed" Rose retracted her angry voice, keeping herself indifferent, "It was just a misunderstanding, now, I'll see you in the morning" she walked down the ramp to her bedroom. The Doctor watched her as she left.

Rose slumped down into her bed, tears beginning to form. She curled into a ball on her bed and let the sobs escape. Of course she'd known they'd go to Jackie's and that's why she stopped at the shop to buy something. A cover-story and an uncomfortable issue was essential so tampons it was.

But they still caught her; she couldn't have been shopping for tampons for two hours.

Of course, anybody who _really_ knew her, like her mum or Mickey, knew she despised tampons. But The Doctor didn't know that and he never would. Maybe she'd never know him the way she wanted to either.

She'd just have to get over her feelings for him, and then, when he dropped her back on earth, maybe it won't hurt so much.

_Maybe_.


	2. Part II

**Title: Losing Grip**

**Author: **bittasummer19

**Summary: **Set after _The Girl in the Fireplace. _Rose deals with the fact the Doctor left her, Mickey deals with the fact Rose is in love with the Doctor and the Doctor is oblivious until the end. Part 2 of 2. Re-edited 11/01/12.

**Pairing: **Ten/Rose

**Notes:** Inspired by Avril Lavinge's song _Losing Grip._

**Warnings:** Profanity, bashing of French people (sorry!), lots and lots of angst and a tiny bit of sexy-sexy time.

* * *

**Part II**

_"Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone. Why should I care? If you don't care then I don't care, we're not going anywhere"._

Rose woke that morning, a lump in her dry throat and dried-up tears still visible on her cheeks. She ducked back under the covers, feeling drained and lifeless. She tried to suffocate the numbing dull ache in the middle of her heart. She was almost asleep again until, the usual knock at the door came and Rose groaned again, looking up with annoyance.

"Mickey!" Rose cried, "I've told you a _million _times, the TARDIS doesn't spy on you in the shower, okay? There _are no_ cameras! And no offence, but I don't think you're The Doctor's type" the last part came out bitterly; she knew his type: _French_, _blonde_, _pretty_ blah-blah—.

"It's me" the voice announced, breaking her chain of thoughts.

Her heart leapt and she sat up "D-Doctor?..." she spluttered.

"Can I come in?" The Doctor asked quietly.

"Sure" Rose brushed her hair down in attempt to tame it and watched as her door-handle bent down and The Doctor walked in cautiously.

"Hey" she forced a smile "What's up?".

"I came about last night" The Doctor began slowly "I'm sorry for upsetting you... It shouldn't have happened".

"No, it was my fault" Rose interrupted "I over-reacted; it's nice that you and Mickey are so protective of me but seriously... I can handle myself".

The Doctor turned to go but stopped, frowning "Mickey thinks the TARDIS watches him in the shower?".

Rose shrugged carelessly and fell back into the bed, curling up. Only when the door shut, did she let out that deep breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

**oOo**

The Doctor glanced up at Mickey and Rose, who had just appeared from the kitchen. He noticed the way Rose still avoided his gaze… Before she welcomed his presence, now it seemed like she hated him.

"So, where we off to now then?" Mickey asked with a biscuit in his hand.

"Wherever you wanna go" The Doctor shrugged back "Your pick".

"Seriously?" Mickey sounded giddy "I can choose?".

Rose said, "So Mickey... Where you gonna send us to?" she tried to sound light and cheery but she wasn't fooling any current Time Lords.

"Mmm" Mickey frowned "Oh, I know! How about JFK's assassination? How amazing would that be? Tragic in it's own right but still, we might find out who shot him".

The Doctor shook his head "Can't... Could run into my 9th regeneration and that would be bad".

"You were there?" Mickey gaped, "Oh my god, why didn't you stop it? Isn't that what you do? Stop bad things?".

"Mickey, it's more complicated than that" The Doctor winced, "JFK's assassination was a fixed point in time and space, you can't change a fixed point in time and space, it causes paradoxes and time explosions".

"Just like I couldn't save my dad" Rose looked down sadly.

The Doctor stayed silent, then looked up to Mickey "Right Rickey-Mickey, where to?".

Mickey grinned "What about the 1600's?".

"Why, what's there?" The Doctor asked.

"No idea, do I?" Mickey shrugged "Just a guess".

"Okay then" The Doctor started going crazy on the controls "17th Century; 1600's; why don't we visit a festival? A bit of fruit-growing, apple magic, soothsayers, palm-readers... What'd you think, Rose?".

Rose jumped up at her name and just nodded "Sure, great, whatever".

The TARDIS shook and they all fell to the floor, clutching the rails except for The Doctor. A few minutes passed and when it stopped, The Doctor jumped up; grinning from ear to ear:

"Right then: 1660s Virginia here we come!".

**oOo**

"God, I can't breathe in this thing!" Rose breathed hotly. She grabbed her chest and gasped. She was wearing a black & silver metallic weave polonaise gown with cinch lacing over stomacher, a bustle slip, a gothic hair ornament, and silver opal necklace. She maintained the ability to wear her all star converses.

The Doctor turned back to her and smirked. He was wearing a black velvet coat with silver thread embroidery, a silver & black vest, black velvet half-way trousers, a white shirt, a silver lace neck wrap, white socks, and black shoes.

"I don't know why _I_ got the kilt..." Mickey muttered, pulling at his shoulder wrap. He was wearing an authentic wool tartan kilt, a wool tartan shoulder wrap, a white shirt, a black leather belt, a suede pouch, suede leggings, and brown boots.

"Because" The Doctor looked over his shoulder "You choose this place!".

The Doctor, Mickey and Rose strolled along the rows of stalls. The ground was a mass field of grass, the sky was looming bright and there were stalls of fruits, vegetables, fancy-costume out-fits, soothsayers, palm-readers, juggling contests, and musical entertainment.

The men were wearing blue tabards with silver crosses and red lining shirts, collar, trousers, a hat, sword & black boots. The women were wearing ivory brocade gowns with blue ribbon trims, white satin skirts, panniers, a necklace, and white shoes. The children were wearing smaller versions of white and red trousers and black shirts and the girls; pink skirts and satin blouses.

It really was like history out of a book.

"Is this a rich part of town?" Rose looked around.

"Must be" The Doctor replied quietly.

"This is terrific!" Mickey grinned "We're in the 1660's! Can you believe it! 1660s!".

The Doctor gave him a quick smile before turning to Rose "Feeling better?".

Rose narrowed her eyes "What? What you do mean?" her heart pounded. Had he figured out why she was so distant, quiet and generally not interested?

"The dress" The Doctor stated, as if were obvious "You had difficulty breathing?".

"Right" Rose forced a smile "Sure, everything's fine".

The Doctor continued to look at her strangely until a young brunette woman wearing a pink and white lace dress, approached them and took The Doctor's hand, looking at his palm.

"I am Marie" she said, smiling "Would you like me to read your palm?".

"Great" The Doctor beamed.

Rose folded her arms in annoyance as Mickey leaned in with interest.

Marie had her eyes closed as she travelled up The Doctor's palm lines "You are very powerful" she said quietly "Like an on-coming storm... You've been so many different people and you are so very far away from home".

Rose and The Doctor looked at her intriguingly as Mickey smiled in astonishment. Was this palm-reader for real?

Marie smiled warmly "Your heart lies with... a blonde girl, she has just become a woman".

The Doctor kept his gaze firmly on Marie and refused to look at Rose. Mickey frowned in confusion and glanced at Rose. Her eyes were widened in sorrow and hurt. Of course, _Reinette_! Even when the bitch is dead, she's still causing havoc.

"You love her" Marie continued to smile "And she loves you back but... There is so much hurt and pain concerned, and more than two hearts are involved; there is another who seeks the blonde's heart".

The Doctor narrowed his eyes in interest and watched as Marie travelled up another line. "Wow, your... love is over-whelming... I feel it like you have two hearts and yet, that is impossible... It's like passion and rage and trust all in one. This girl would die for you and you for her".

Rose had had enough listening to The Doctor's love for that French bitch. She tore off her hair pin, letting her hair fall down messily. She thrust the pin into Mickey hands and looked away.

"I'm going for a walk" she told them, barely containing her annoyance. She turned on her heel and stormed off.

"Go after her" The Doctor whispered to Mickey. Mickey nodded and walked off after Rose, twiddling Rose's hairpin in his fingers.

"You are so very old and wise" Marie sighed softly "But yet, you will not give into your heart's desire. Why? Secrets. You have many of them, from your past. This girl, she's not like you, she's different, fragile, insecure… Overwhelmed, almost… endangered? But this only makes your love grow stronger. It blossoms, like flowers on a summer's day…".

The Doctor listened intensely.

Marie opened her eyes, smiling warmly "She is your _Rose_".

**oOo**

"Rose!" Mickey yelled after her "Rose!".

Rose stopped running and leant against a tree, getting her breath back.

"Rose" Mickey stated softly, standing in front of her.

"What is it, Mickey?" Rose snapped, looking up.

And that was it.

"Why are you always like this?" Mickey exploded, anger spilling out uncontrollably "You and The Doctor, The Doctor and you, never me and you! We used to love each other, we used to have fun, and you take me for granted and think that I'll be okay about it, but I'm not! You don't think I've got feelings, I still love you, damn it! And you..." he trailed off, shaking with anger.

Rose, who had staring at him in silence for the speech, blinked "Mickey..." she reached out for him but he backed away.

"I should have known" Mickey sighed sadly, "I should have guessed from the moment you made The Doctor give me my own room that we weren't… That we couldn't ever go back to how it was".

Tears spilled out of Rose's eyes. Guilt and pain washed over her. Mickey was her best friend and she loved him, but she wasn't in love with him anymore.

"I can't do this anymore" Mickey whispered "Watching you pine for him while he has his way with anybody but you... I can't... I'm going home, I've got a life..." he paused; uncertain "And I'm sorry but you're not in it anymore, Rose" he turned and walked back the other way, leaving Rose, breathless and alone.

Rose looked up in time to see Mickey stride past The Doctor, who looked back in confusion as he approached Rose "What's up with him, then?" The Doctor asked with a shrug of his shoulders.

"He's going home" Rose brushed past him quickly despite the inability to breathe, "He said he can't stay here anymore".

"What?" The Doctor cried "We've just got back from earth!".

"Yeah well, if you don't like it so much, don't visit" Rose retorted from behind her.

"Wait a minute!" The Doctor walked after her briskly, "I save the earth every week, sometimes twice a week! And what is up with your mood lately?".

Rose turned and stared at him, her breath becoming rapid again; her dress had grown tighter from the running away and she couldn't take it anymore.

"My mood? What the fuck about yours? God you're so clueless sometimes! You can't just dump me in the middle of freaking space and run off with some French whore and then expect me to trust you again! It doesn't work like that".

"And how should it work?" The Doctor asked angrily, "Don't you dare judge me Rose Tyler, I'd do anything to save lives, isn't that what you like about me-".

"Of it is!" Rose screamed "But you don't even see it do you? You leave death and destruction in your wake, Doctor" she whispered fiercely "Some aliens only come to earth because _you're_ there... Why don't you think about that, yeah?" she turned and stormed off.

The Doctor swallowed dryly.

**oOo**

"Take me home!" Mickey demanded, dragging out his bags towards the console. Silence lingered all around them, filling the atmosphere with awkward glances and even more awkward pauses.

"Mickey, you can't be serious" The Doctor started, frowning. Mickey, The Doctor and Rose stood in the TARDIS, awkwardly not looking at each other.

Mickey folded his arms and waited. He watched as The Doctor gave in and started flying the TARDIS again. The shaking began, continued for a few more minutes and then stopped. When it did, Mickey was dragging his suitcases towards the doors.

Rose looked painfully into his eyes, tears threatening to overflow into the surface. Was Mickey really just going to walk out without saying anything?

Mickey sighed softly, before walking over to The Doctor and hugging him quickly, "Take care of Rose, please?" he murmured before he awkwardly walked over to Rose and embraced her in a hug.

"Mickey" Rose whispered sadly.

"I don't blame you" Mickey whispered back into her ear, "I hope you find what you're looking for… And if you ever need me, or need help or anything" he pulled back, "I'll be here for you" he glanced over to The Doctor, "And for you".

The Doctor looked up, "Mickey-".

"Say nothing Doctor" Mickey interrupted him suddenly, "Just take care, both of you" with that, Mickey walked to the doors, grabbed his suitcase and disappeared.

Rose let out a deep breath and slumped against the TARDIS railing weakly. She glanced over to The Doctor, who was staring at her intensely.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" The Doctor asked.

"You happened" the words slipped out from her mouth before she could stop herself.

"Rose, what is this really about?" he stepped forwards "Ever since we came back from 18th century France, you've been in this kind of mood and distant and now Mickey's left, will you just tell me what's wrong? I think I may…".

As he rambled on, Rose had grabbed her tight corset, gasping for breath again. He was strolling around the console and she had her back to him, her breathing becoming more rapid.

"If I've done something" she heard him say vaguely "Tell me and I'll...".

"I can't—" Rose gasped out, gripping the railing "I can't... Can't breathe...".

The Doctor rambled on oblivious to her problem and now, suddenly he was talking about chips. Mickey and chips and more chips and—

"Will you shut up!" Rose snapped angrily.

The Doctor looked down, surprised.

"You think that just because you're a Time Lord, you can treat people like this!" she turned to him, her breathing pushed to the side as she vented her anger "You just... _Left _me! Jumped on a flipping horse called Arthur and smashed through a one-way time-line mirror, knowing you had no way of getting back to me!" her voice broke.

The Doctor stared hardly "I had to save her" his voice raw and sore.

"Why?" her voice was weak and desperate "I understand why you had to save her but why _her_? What was so special about her? You'd only known her for two hours!".

"Would have rather me let her die?" he asked, temper rising.

"You kissed her" Rose's tone was accusing and she didn't care anymore. She was finally getting it all out.

The Doctor pulled back, frowning "How did you...".

"We saw" Rose answered "Me and Mickey, we saw you and her through the fireplace... You fell in love with her" tears were falling now and she turned and walked lifelessly to her room, leaving The Doctor in a state of shock.

Rose slammed her door shut, locking it with rage. The tears were hysterically sobs now and she leant to her wardrobe, banging against it with her fist. This day had sucked; Mickey was gone and The Doctor... Well, he was still clueless.

She gasped dramatically and grabbed at her chest. It was too much, she was suffocating now and her numb nails clawed at the tight corset, wanting the function to breathe normally again.

"Rose?" the gentle voice came through the door.

Rose gasped and sobbed and cried as she struggled with her corset, her tone becoming more high-pitched by the second.

"Rose?" The Doctor's voice was more urgent "Rose, let me in".

Rose gasped again and reached out weakly for the lock. Her hand missed it a few times and she screamed again, finally touching it. She turned it to the left and in a second, he was there, by her side, touching her cheeks and head and comforting her.

"I can't breathe" she clawed at his tie in desperation "I can't..." her eyes were fluttering now and she could feel warm fingers doing something to her corset.

"Rose?" The Doctor held up her half-passed out head "Rose, stay with me, yeah? You'll be fine in no time..." his fingers trembled as he undid the lace, pulling it, and undoing the next tie.

Rose leant against his shoulder, her hot rapid breath sending chills down his neck and spine. She felt lighter now and could sense he was near undoing it all. The Doctor glanced at Rose's head and then back to the corset. One more knot and she would be able to breathe properly. He froze when he felt her hand join his.

"Doctor" she whispered in his ear.

He paused but then remembered what he supposed to be doing. The Doctor gently undid the last lace and pulled it away. The corset flapped open and he could see her toned smooth stomach and black bra... He gulped and looked away.

"Are you okay?" he cupped her neck and pulled her back to face him.

"I'm hot" she breathed out.

The Doctor froze. Hot like the sun or hot like... He trailed off, looking back at her. Of course she meant hot from all the gasping. He slowly peeled back the corset, revealing what could only make his eyes burns with desire.

Rose shivered under his stare and he jumped up, taking off his jacket. He bent back down and put it around her shoulders, wrapping it round her chest and front. "I am so sorry" he kissed her forehead gently.

Rose leant against him restlessly. She felt gentle arms wrap themselves around her body and she was lifted up, her legs slipping out of the rest of the dress.

The Doctor refused to let his mind wander as he lay her on her bed, pulling her pink covers up over her body. He watched her turn over and quickly fall to sleep.

Her words ran over his mind and he suddenly realised that he was just looking at her. Moving quietly, he walked out, shutting the door softly behind him.

**oOo**

Rose awoke gently, her head lifting slightly. A yawn escaped her lips and it all came flooding back to her. He'd seen her... Rose glanced down and realised she still had on his jacket. It felt nice, warm, a little small but he was a rake so it didn't bother her too much.

She sat up, deciding she better go see what he was up too. Rose reached over and grabbed her black pyjama shorts, slipping them on easily. She pulled on a grey tank-top and folded his jacket up.

The Doctor sat in the Captain chair; as Rose had named it, reading a black book he had found in the library. The console was buzzing softly beside him, quite content on resting for a while.

He hadn't realised she'd came in until her shapely figure was planted right in front of him, holding his soft blue jacket.

"Hello" he beamed quietly, closing his book.

"Hey" she handed him his jacket and sat down beside him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, slipping back on his jacket. His two hearts skipped a beat when he got a whiff of her lavender scent, imprinted on his favourite item of clothing.

"I'm okay" she sighed simply.

There was an awkward silence before The Doctor turned to her "I left you Rose because... You had the TARDIS, you had Mickey, you had food, and water and safety and she had... Unstoppable clowns wanting to chop her into mush... Her and half the guests, I _couldn't _let that happen. Too many people have died on my account…".

Rose nodded, she knew he wouldn't ever let innocents die when he could have stopped it. It was one of the reasons why she had fallen in love with him.

"I understand" she whispered "I admire you for that" she stood to go but he pulled her wrist back gently and she stared into his eyes imploringly.

"I didn't love her, Rose" his voice was below a whisper and she had to move in to hear it.

"Your love-life is none of my concern" Rose pulled out of his grip, walking back down the ramp.

"I couldn't love her" The Doctor jumped up, feet away from her. Rose stopped, her back still turned to him, "I couldn't love her" he repeated "Because I already love...".

Rose spun around, her eyes boring into his "But you love her" her voice was bitter and soft and cold all at the same time. She unconsciously took a step forward.

"I couldn't stand to see you with Mickey" he confessed quietly "You and him and all the laughing… I guess I just wanted to hurt you, the way I was hurting" he looked up at her with shame and guilt in his eyes.

"Doctor?" she asked, her heart-beat speeding up.

The Doctor readied himself for rejection, a slap, whatever else she would do but he _had_ to say it: "I love you".

Rose's lips parted in shock and she gripped the railing for support. Without realising it, she had lunged for him, pressing her lips to his soft ones. Her mouth was dry and she moaned in pleasure as he started to kiss her back, his lips melding with hers.

"Doctor" she managed to gasp out before he hooked her legs up and around his waist. The Doctor took over her as he linked their fingers together and he pushed her against the wall.

"I love you too" Rose whispered, pulling away. The Doctor beamed in joy but she soon pulled him back, restarting her fierce attack on his lips.

"Say it again" The Doctor growled huskily between Rose's fiery gasps.

"I love you" Rose gasped, slipping her tongue into his mouth and sucking hard. She jumped down and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the ramp urgently.

"Don't you think we should take this slow?" The Doctor gasped as he and Rose burst into his bedroom, clawing at each other's clothes.

Rose stopped and stared at him, baring her soul completely, "You want me to leave?".

"Never" The Doctor whispered back, kissing her again and lifting her up around his waist. Their lips never left each others as they leant against the door and slammed it shut.


End file.
